Holidays for the brozz. So spent the afternoon in lepak style today. Darren *while trying to make himself comfortable* : Wahhh I don’t there remember the car being this small. Oblivious to the fact he is growing up to be a fine young strong man. And of course physically, maturing. So yes, the car definitely seems smaller than before. hahaha
On that note, I miss secondary school days as much as I’m enjoying uni life. And I miss G & D as small young baby boys.
NO SUMMER PLEASE?
Its a mixed feeling. I don’t quite want summer sem to start, yet I want it over and done with. I’ve grown to appreciate education for not just what i learn, but how it has helped me unlearn. Not really about the textbook knowledge but how it has trained my thought processes and possibly some instilled discipline amidst the whole array of benefits masked in pain.
Ironically, summer takes on a whole new meaning for me ever since UB started. But to say the least, this summer has been life changing, perception wrecking in all the good ways.
Unlike everyone else, I’m not quite looking forward to the greener pastures of New York’s outskirts in August. I think i like living in my comfort/freedom too much and I don’t fancy burgers and steaks everyday. But, really, i’ll never know how much i might grow to love it all. So for now, I’m just embracing whatever comes and enjoying the last weekday of my break.
This, I fell in love with.
Alberto Seveso’s High Speed Ink and Water Photography series
See the rest here
This mother’s day,
I’m actually more curious than ever to know how alike we would be if you were here, right beside me.
I hear how alike we are, how I’m growing to look abit more like you, but the faintest memory leads me no where near to experiencing it first hand.
I remember you making me dance to MJ, singing along to Phantom of the Opera calling out the believed “protege” in me. And because of that, i understood the power of belief.
I remember you scolding me and spanking me when i so deserved one. And because of that, i somehow understood that correction was part of love.
I remember returning home from tuition right across our home, (yes at the age of about 4) only to see you filled in the spirit, a trance-like spiritual encounter. And because of that, the realm of God was probably more normal than i would ever thought. I knew something was strange, yet that opened my appetite to something more.
Years later, I read your journal, your prayer journal in the midst of pain, in the midst of both physical and emotional pain and all i see is love and how God helped u hold on to the little that u had till the very last breath. I read about the real struggles, family conflicts, quarrels in marriage, how u held on for me, your faith and how Jesus even appeared to you in your room. I revisited the pain i felt when i was young. A pain that was still rather incomprehensible to me at that time, a pain that was bottled up and embedded within. It was close to fear. But it was a pain and fear that was so simply removed by the love and assurance of God. Somehow, i wasn’t filled with offense when i read all that u wrote. I was encountering God. I was amazed at His faithfulness. Yet, i was curious.
I’m not upset that you couldn’t see me grow up.
Just curious of how it would have been like.
I’m not upset that you couldn’t see me dance and perform when i was younger.
Just curious how proud you would have been since it was ur dream to have me dance.
I’m not upset that we couldn’t go to church together after the age of 6.
Just curious how it would have been to worship God right beside you like how i did with Daddy a few months back.
I’m not upset that you couldn’t be there to hold me when i cried at the lowest points in my life. Just curious how it feels to be in your arms.
I’m not angry that i couldn’t celebrate mother’s day without you after age 6.
Just curious about how much i could have made u smile.
I’m not bitter that you can’t see who i have grown into.
Just curious if you would be proud to see how i have grown to love a God you so dearly love and loved.
I’m not upset that you weren’t around long enough to share your Godly encounters with me.
Just curious how it was like when Jesus walked into your room.
I wonder what prayers you made to God for my life. I wonder what dreams u had for me.
I wonder what were the prayers and desires in your heart on your death bed.
I’m not offended that you’re not here,
I’m not upset. Just curious.
More than ever, I’m curious how it is like to be that close to God now.
In the place he has prepared for you.
Curious how adorned u look now.
I’m not upset you’re not here, just curious.
Happy Mother’s Day.
planetSHAKER. SHAKERfries.
29 and 30th April blew my mind.
1. I learnt to never be offended by how God moves.
2. What my mind cannot comprehend can still be real. In other words, my brain in comparison with what God can do is punier than puny.
3. I’m just glad He broke out in my life.
4. I was shaken physically like a planetshaker.
5. I don’t understand, but I feel born again. I feel over the moon and new on the inside. This is not normal but who cares?!
This is but my makeshift home.
today, I remind myself to never live for the temporal.
to never live for things that moth rust and decay can breakdown.
for beauty that is fleeting and knowledge that puffs up.
may we store up treasures of eternal value and not degrade the worth of our existence to merely living for what is present.
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
One of those Saturdays I felt so uplifted and filled up in life group just because God was drawn to hunger.
Grandma came back home from her holiday in China yesterday. A whole week without her felt different and I’m just glad she’s back:)
“Aiyo, everything so cheap how not to buy? I never buy nonsense you know, all these are not nonsense.”
I find the random things she bought for the family funny yet very heartwarming and sweet.
